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Janis

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Reply with quote  #1 
Diabetes can stress relationships. 
 
If your New Year's resolution is to stop fighting with your partner, you will probably fail.  Even couples with the best relationships argue.  The difference is that they fight fair.  Here are rules for fighting fair:
 
1.  Focus exclusively on the problem. (DON'T bring up the past!!!)
 
2.  Attack the problem - not the person. (I like YOU, but dislike what when you do the following...)
 
3.  Listen to each other.  When your partner is speaking, listen.  Don't plan your own response. 
 
4.  Care about each other's feelings. 
 
5.  Be responsible for what you both say and do.
 
What you should NOT do:
Blame
Try to get even
Hit
Make excuses
Call the other names
Boss one another around
Not listen
Tease
Say any put-downs
Threaten
 
Play fair and watch your relationship grow!
Janis

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Janis Roszler, MSFT, RD, CDE, LD/N
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richard157

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Reply with quote  #2 
Excellent advice, Janis! Is this topic in your next book? It would be a good topic for a whole chapter.
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Type 1 for 68 years. Using MM 523 pump. A1c = 5.8.
sharon

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Reply with quote  #3 

Excellant! - if we could all only do all that.  Let me - us - know when your next book comes out.

LUM - Sharon


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Sharon from Arizona
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Janis

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Reply with quote  #4 
Actually, I'm waiting for my publisher's response to my newest book idea.  I hope he says yes.  I'm sure I can find a way to include lots of yummy advice!
Janis

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Janis Roszler, MSFT, RD, CDE, LD/N
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DAN

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Reply with quote  #5 
oooh, that kind of fight....

DAN
TeaDuck

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Reply with quote  #6 
Wouldn't it be nice if it was that simple and actually worked.

Ruth 
Janis

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Reply with quote  #7 
Ruth!
How nice to hear from you!  Believe it or not, it IS possible to follow these rules.  Hubby and I have been following them for years. So have many successful couples I know. If we start to go off track, we remind each other to fight fair.  Best idea, is to set the rules BEFORE you have a fight.
Janis

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Janis Roszler, MSFT, RD, CDE, LD/N
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TeaDuck

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi Janis

Sorry, caught me on a bad day!

Unfortunately for me it wasn't that simple.  Sometimes it doesn't matter what you try and do. I am living back in England living at my parents because I had to leave my husband. He was doing something beyond anything that could have been dealt with that way. I'm sure these things applied in normal situations are effective if both parties are willing to work at it.

Ruth x
richard157

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Reply with quote  #9 
Ruth, I am sorry to hear that it was that way with your husband. I'm sure you are safe with your parents.
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Type 1 for 68 years. Using MM 523 pump. A1c = 5.8.
Janis

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Reply with quote  #10 
Hi Ruth,
Yes, both parties have to commit to want a FAIR and balanced relationship.  That takes respect from both sides.  If one doesn't respect the other, it is not going to work.  I'm sorry you had to leave your husband, but it sounds like you may the right decision for you.  There are wonderful partners who do want a relationship that has an even balance of respect and power.  Take your time.  You can get there.
Janis

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Janis Roszler, MSFT, RD, CDE, LD/N
Follow me on twitter: @dearjanis
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